Dinner Disaster!

A fable about a watched pot never boiling... and the opposite being true

***Still no kitchen, friends. This post was in the drafts for a while, so let’s just pretend I cooked this recently, m’kay?***

Take a look at that chicken paprikash. Looks pretty good, right? Juicy chicken thigh, crispy skin, a rich and silky sauce, nice little egg noodles underneath. The photos came out great. You’d never know by looking at it that I’ve never made chicken paprikash before. Or, if I have then it’s been so long it’s been completely erased from my sieve-like memory.

You’d also never know that I almost completely SHIT THE BED on this dish. I mean, almost ruined it. Done, appropriately like dinner. I barely managed to avert disaster and almost ruined one of my favorite kitchen possessions in the process.

So, what happened? It all started off so well. I had pulled the sour cream out of the fridge so it would come to room temp. That way it wouldn’t curdle or split when I added it to the sauce. Check. Dried the chicken thighs before searing them, so they wouldn’t steam and I’d get nice browning. Check. I cooked my onions low and slow in the leftover chicken fat, scraping up all the fond from searing the chicken for MAXIMUM FLAVOUR. Check. I added my spices to the softened vegetables and let them bloom nicely, becoming aromatic before halting their cooking with the tomatoes, keeping the spices from burning while extracting maximum flavour and aroma. Check.

Actual footage of me, cooking this dish

As everything came up to the simmer, I returned the chicken thighs to the pot, keeping the skins above the simmering goodness to keep them crispy. I set a timer for 40 minutes, turned down the heat a bit and everything should have been okay. Cockily I left my station to send some emails and bother my wife while she did her laundry. I returned in time to catch my timer, removed the chicken from the pot and was about to finish the sauce and cook the egg noodles, when I gave the pot a cursory stir.

Disaster.

I paled. I could feel as I scraped my wooden spoon across the bottom of the Dutch oven the unmistakable feel of a scorched bottom. Had I ruined dinner? Had I wasted some of our precious groceries? Beads of sweat appeared on my brow. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s ruining a dish or making a mistake in the kitchen.

There was no time for panic if dinner was to be saved. I quickly grabbed another pot, turned the sauce into it, put it onto a cool burner and inspected the damage. Indeed, the bottom of the first pot was covered in a layer of blackened and scorched stew. I filled the pot with soapy water and left it in the sink while I tasted the remaining sauce. Did it taste burnt? I mean, a little bit. I’d describe it as smoky. Would I serve that in a restaurant? No way, but it wasn’t gross, just a little smoky and piquant, certainly good enough for two hungry young professionals like Liz and me. My Le Creuset pot would be fine after a soak, a gentle scrape with a wooden spoon and a gentle scrub with a sponge.

I finished the dish, tempering the sour cream with a bit of the warm sauce before combining with the big batch for unbreakable saucy success. With the addition of the sour cream, the smokiness was lessened even further. I’m not trying to pass this one off, mind you. Like I said, I’d never send this out in a restaurant to a paying customer. But it was actually quite tasty. After plating up, I took some photos. Just a pristine-looking dish. You’d never know that it was almost a disaster.

Does it look like it was mere seconds away from being a carbonized mess?

Looks good right? Here’s the recipe:

Chicken Paprikash

Ingredients:

• 2 tbsp canola oil

• 1 1/2 lbs bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs, at room temperature and pat dry with paper towels

• Kosher salt, to taste

• 2 medium onions, finely diced

• 4 cloves garlic, minced

• 1 tbsp sweet paprika

• 1 tsp smoked paprika

• 1 tsp hot paprika

• 1 tsp cayenne pepper

• 1 tsp black pepper

• 1x 796 mL can crushed tomatoes

• 1 cup chicken stock

• 1 cup sour cream

• 1 package egg noodles, cooked, drained, and tossed in melted butter

• 4-5 sprigs flat leaf parsley (leaves only), chopped finely, to garnish

Method:

1. Preheat oven to 325 F.

2. In a large, heavy-bottomed pot over medium-high heat, warm the oil. Season the chicken with salt, add to the oil, and cook until lightly browned, 3 to 5 minutes per side.

3. Transfer the chicken pieces to a plate. Reduce the heat under the pot to medium.

4. Add the onion and cook, stirring often, until translucent, 5 to 8 minutes.

5. Stir in the garlic, three paprikas, cayenne, and black pepper. Stir continuously until the spices have bloomed and are fragrant, 30 seconds to 1 minute.

6. Pour in the tomatoes and chicken stock, crushing the tomatoes with a wooden spoon to help release their juices.

7. Nestle the chicken into the sauce, keeping the crispy skin above the liquid.

8. Cover the pot and UNLIKE ME, transfer to the oven until the chicken is cooked through and tender, 45 minutes to 1 hour.

9. Uncover, and add 1-2 tbsp of the warm sauce to the sour cream. Stir to combine.

10. Stir the sour cream mixture back into the pot of chicken and sauce. Stir gently until well combined.

11. Serve over buttered egg noodles, garnished with parsley.

If there’s a takeaway for you readers, it’s this: sometimes things go wrong in the kitchen, even for professionals. The important thing is not to panic. A lot of the time, a dish can be saved. Be forgiving of yourself while cooking at home. Pay attention to what’s going on while you’re cooking, especially if you’re doing something for the first time. It’s a piece of advice I always give, but don’t always follow. Cook with confidence, don’t panic, pay attention and taste often.

And if you’re making chicken paprikash and you don’t want to stir it because you’re trying to keep the skin crispy, cook it in the goddamn oven.